Patchwork Universe

Father Michael · Strong Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 98 Location: San Pietro

Pietro had been somewhat bored by the conversation and the surroundings. The dropped pebble was therefore an interesting diversion. He jumped down from Michael's arms, trotted over to John, examined the pebble carefully, and gave it a tentative bat with his paw. It slid smoothly across the white surface. This seemed to have the potential to be a good game. Pietro gave the pebble a more energetic swipe and proceeded to chase after it.

Yarrow · Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2004 3:57 pm Post subject:

"This is heaven, you know, Father. It doesn't exactly come with in-flight meals."

But showing the susceptibility of any old woman to a charming cat, Yarrow rummaged in a pocket and produced half-empty jar of picked herrings, which she set down on the blank white floor.
"Anyway, with any luck you shouldn't be here for long," she added.

"Right then, toodilly pip," Yarrow waved a jaunty hand and vanished.

ooc: Yarrow now leaves this thread.

John Angelis · Posted: Sun Jun 27, 2004 5:55 pm Post subject:

John strode over and snatched the stone from the cat.

"Sorry kitty, but you probably don't want to be playing with anything that mad old bat hands out."

John rooted through his pockets for something to amuse the obviously put-out cat. He found a bright and shiny seven sided coin, and rolled it across the smooth floor. The cat chased after it, and pounced on it with glee.

John turned to Father Michael.

"So, father, do these charlatans really strike you as gods?"

Father Michael · Strong Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 98 Location: San Pietro

"Well," said Michael thoughtfully, "I'm not going to subject you to a sermon, that would be too painful. Let's put it this way - my faith does not allow me to accept Yarrow as a god, because my faith recognises only one all-powerful and all-knowing deity. And, much though I would like that deity to turn out to be an eccentric cat-lover, nevertheless I fear it will not be so.

No, I don't think they're gods, but I do think that they are more powerful than we are, and that they are up to something whose purpose we do not understand. Most interesting, though, is the fact that Yarrow dodged my question about whether they too were bound by this place. I suspect that they may be so bound, but again in ways that make no sense to us. Especially me - before today I was a simple parish priest. Now... who knows..."

The Janitor · Posted: Mon Jun 28, 2004 10:30 pm Post subject:

The sound of an engine interrupted their conversation.

A large white van drove slowly through the room, and parked near Michael and John.

A man in a grey uniform opened the driver's door and stepped down. He slid back the doors to the cargo area.

"Did anyone order some furniture?"

Inside the van were several minimalist white sofas, chairs and coffee tables. Labels attached to them indicated names with several accented characters.

John Angelis · Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 8:16 am Post subject:

John Angelis rummaged through the pile of flat-packs.

"I love flat-packs!"

John seized on a package containing a cunningly designed cantilevered chair. Drawing his penknife with a flourish, he cut open the cardboard box, and began to organise the pieces into neat little piles.

"These are great. It's like being a kid with Meccano again."

He industriously began slotting pieces together and securing them with bolts.

Father Michael · Strong Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 98 Location: San Pietro

"Hello," said Michael. "How kind of you. Perhaps while my friend is constructing the chairs and coffee table, I could help you with the sofas. Shall we arrange them round the geranium, for lack of any other focus point?"

So, as John ravaged the flatpacks, the Janitor and Michael arranged the furniture that had arrived fully made-up.

"Won't you stay for a while?" enquired Michael. "I would offer you a cup of coffee, but we seem to be a little lacking in that department. Still, as I presume you must be another of those who call themselves gods to have arrived here as you did, should you wish for coffee you can no doubt summon it."

Pietro had established himself in the middle of the largest sofa, and was proceeding to decorate it with sharply contrasting cat-hairs. John had rapidly finished his first flat pack and was enthusiastically tearing apart the second. Pietro was watching him carefully, and seemed to be weighing up the entertainment value of the bright shiny bits as against the consequent wrath of the disturbed craftsman.

"There always seems to be a bit left over," mused John. "I wonder what it was supposed to do? Never mind, maybe it will be useful for this next one."

"Although John is currently enjoying himself, and my cat seems quite content here," continued Michael, "I have to confess that I am rather more restless. Would a lift in your van be possible?"

John Angelis · Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 10:28 am Post subject:

John was quite oblivious to all, while there was still flat packery in the offing.

He soon had constructed two of the cunningly designed chairs, and a rather nice white birch coffee table with an inset glass top. He looked well satisfied with his work. The geranium was put in pride of place in the centre of the coffee table.

Dropping himself into one of the chairs, which looked as if it surely *must* snap under the strain, but didn't, John finally joined the conversation.

"Any chance of some books here? And maybe - some bookshelves?"

John's eyes glinted at the very idea of bookshelf assembly.

The Janitor · Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:36 pm Post subject:

After setting down a rather large sofa, the man in grey addressed Father Michael:

"Well now, I wouldn't really claim to be a God as such. I'm just part of the maintenance crew around here. I heard there was a lack of furniture."

Including John in his musings, he continued.

"I take your point about reading matter. You see we don't get many visitors here, so it's been a little neglected for comforts."

"Anyway, coffee you say. I think I've got an espresso machine in a box in the van."

He rummaged through the pile of boxes and produced a large box illustrated with a picture of a gleaming chrome contraption.

"I don't think it's been used before, so some assembly might be needed."

The Janitor · Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 12:51 pm Post subject:

He turned to Father Michael again.

"As to a lift in the van, I not really supposed to. Safety regulations you know."

"However, I don't think anyone is going to notice or complain. So, sure, once I've finished unloading, hop in. I think San Pietro's quite near. We might have to go through a bit of desert first mind you."

Father Michael · Strong Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 98 Location: San Pietro

"You are very kind," replied Michael, "and we will be in your debt. First, however, let us investigate this espresso machine." Despite the fact that there did not seem to be any plumbing for the water inlet, nor indeed a power supply, it was soon producing satisfactory gurgles and clouds of secnted steam.

"Good," said Michael. "Espresso the way Papa used to make it." He handed round small cups of intensely black liquid. "Sir," he said to the man in the grey overalls, "Pietro and I await your convenience. John," he continued, "if this gentleman can fit another in his van, will you come with us?"

John Angelis · Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 3:13 pm Post subject:

"No, father, I don't think so. I've seen through the charade, and I won't play along any more. Ask yourself, father, whether you believe these truly are gods, with power over life and death. If not, what was the purpose of that unlikely ordeal we went through? Battling through pain and death, only to be swept off the board, and sent home? I think this is a game for someone's amusement. Maybe these gods. Maybe you're right, and they're as bound to the place as we are. Whatever the case, I'm not going to suffer and die for someone else's amusement any longer. I think I shall stay here, and see what develops if I no longer cooperate."

Father Michael · Strong Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 98 Location: San Pietro

"I can see your point of view, John," said Michael. "However, whoever brought my village here also brought its inhabitants, and I ought to go back to them. I do hope that whatever you decide turns out to be best for you. Good luck, and may God bless you, whoever He is."

The Janitor · Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2004 7:09 pm Post subject:

The man in grey seemed to have finished his delivery.

"Well Father, if you want to climb in, then we can be off."

Father Michael · Strong Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 98 Location: San Pietro

Gathering up Pietro in his arms, Michael got into the van with the Janitor. As he waved farewell to John, he was able to reflect a little on the absurdity of the situation. After all, it wasn't every day you discovered that your village had been transported to another world, got incinerated by a dragon and then transported home in a furniture van, all in time for lunch. He was looking forward to a siesta.