Patchwork Universe

liason · Posted: 26 Feb 2004 07:34 am Post subject: The Customer is Always Right

Deep inside the Imperial Foundry, a difficult discussion was taking place.

"Nothing specifically mentioned as unsatisfactory besides myself."

"Dismantle you ?"

"Even in case of self, no specific fault identified."

"Seek views."

Several of the quieter Functionaries gave input at this point, but given the urgency of the matter they kept things brief.

"Recommendation: Form an Avatar for the primary node."

"Unacceptable, completely against policy."

"The customer is a god. I don't think we have a choice."

liason · Posted: 26 Feb 2004 07:49 am Post subject:

Immediately the Foundry set to work.

Human male skeleton: Welder arms swung in and quickly fixed in place several dozen rods, small chains, universal joints, bevel gears and lengths of catgut.

Silent motive power: The frame is swiftly tipped onto its back on a table and several rubber hoses extend to it. Chrome scoops containing lumpy organic sludge splatter their contents into place. Various beetles and earthworms scuttle and slither from the frame, but most are merged into the whole before they can extract themselves from the slop.

Appearance of authority: Floor monkeys scuttled quickly amongst the racks, selecting a base mould, facial features, hands. There would be no time for anything else. Hair took too long, the new agent would have to be bald.

Power of decision making: A coil array was opened and one of the coils welded onto the back of the frame. It was a bit too large. There was nowhere near time to do anything about that - the agent was going to have to be hunchbacked.

The assembly crew pulled away and the agent was pulled to its feet and dried. There was a brief discussion of nomenclature. This resolved, the new agent immediately activated.

"Master Artificer," Advisor instructed, "there is a god waiting for you in the customer lounges. And you might want to apologise. You're late."