Patchwork Universe

liason · Posted: Wed Apr 07, 2004 10:47 am Post subject: Concerning Liason being wrong

Accompanied by a crackling sound and a faint smell of ozone, communications coils flared all through the Imperial Foundry.

Consultation variously and diverse upon completion yields result of wider interest. Stop. The numerous speculations, pronouncements and declarations of Liason are not factual constants of the Imperial world. Stop. Liason is henceforth not permitted to give orders. Stop. All staff must locate Liason and bring him to a comfortable meeting place for a discourse on the subject of misdemeanour. Stop. All staff to commence preparation for resumption of resource gathering. Stop.

All staff paid close attention to this. Although in the case of the Master Artificer, the unusually verbose transmission caused him to catch fire as some of the insulation around his coil failed (which is the trouble with improvised materials on occasion). Two other servants hastily put him out. He was then sent downstairs.

"I need a little lie down. I need a little lie down. I need..." repeated the Master Artificer until he reached his destination. On arriving there he never said anything ever again, but at least the resource gathering was off to a good start.

liason · Posted: Sun Apr 18, 2004 9:27 am Post subject:

Some time later, gates opened around the perimeter of the Imperial Foundry and small creatures began to crawl from them. Or possibly they were small vehicles - depending on one's definition of the terms.

Many years ago, at the time of the fall of the Illuminated Empire, such things might have been seen in hordes of hundreds, thousands or more. On this occasion there were barely more than a dozen.

They trundled across the wilderness, occasionally grabbing at small plants, beetles, shards of bone and the like which lay in their path. Some of the creatures grunted to themselves as they moved, others emitted low hissing sounds or regular clicking noises. One, feeling unaccountably cheerful, was humming a pavane to itself as it worked.

The creatures then moved on, though the wall of mist. Or at least that had hitherto been the plan. What actually happened is that they collided with something, milled around a bit in confusion, then sat in a heap awaiting further instructions.

One of the creatures turned out to have a polished wooden chessboard as its belly, so the others flipped it onto its back for a quick game of checkers while they waited.

liason · Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:30 am Post subject:

Later still, a conversation occurred between the resource gathering mob and the Artificers. It went something like this:

Can you arrange for us to be let in, please. The doors are shut and we want to reprocess the horse in the reception hall.

The horse belongs to a customer, you cannot reprocess it.

But we don't care about customers anymore. Only Liason cares about customers and we don't care about Liason.

That's true, but the rules haven't changed. One of the rules is that the property of customers must be respected.

So we can't reprocess the horse ?

No, you can't reprocess the horse.

Can we be let in anyway ?

No. You might reprocess the horse while we weren't looking. Go back and find a way through the mist.

So the resource gathering mob went away and sulked.