Patchwork Universe

Captain Magpie · Posted: 04 Feb 2004 02:32 pm Post subject: Captain Magpie enters the Mine

Pirates make a lot of noise - especially when celebrating.
When celebrating a huge haul from a wayward frigate without even the sense to try to escape they can be a very noisy crowd indeed.

The joy of being underground, of course, is that noise doesn't really carry - and that's why Captain Magpie used the cave system in this particular part of the sea for such celebrations. The caves were also ideal for the keeping of provisions, rum, and the other vital parts of a pirate ship's upkeep.

On the second day of drinking Magpie shook his head a little too quickly at a foolish notion (that a pirate might run out of sea) and became worried the world might never stop spinning.

'Time for a little wander', he proclaimed, and wandered.

He grapbbed a lamp and swung it in a carefree manner from side to side, letting the flickering flame cast excitingly mobile shadows up the walls. A couple of crew got bashed on the head but the drunk Captain was never going to get any complaints from that sort of thing. Comes with the trade - a phrase pirates have been using for years for everything from capture by the Navy to bits in the rum.

Magpie kept wandering, taking no care of the direction or the angle, past the rum store - where a few lazy crew sent to fetch a barrel had just tapped it instead - and on into the darkness.

After another few minutes the lamp went out. Didn't gutter and think about failing, didn't get bashed into a piece of rock and shatter dramatically, just went out. A part of Magpie's mind not too befuddled with rum decided this was a bad thing, and took a few paces back. Wherupon the lamp relit.

'Strange', was Captain Magpie's only comment, but muttered at least a half dozen times as he put the lamp into the darkness, and then took it out again.

Captain Magpie · Posted: 05 Feb 2004 11:14 am Post subject: An investigative party

"Right crew! Look lively, shake a leg and shut up that racket!" - you needed a loud voice as a Captain, but the echoing cavern certainly helped.

A dozen men and women quieted and turned to Magpie, a few dozen more remained asleep, oblivious or out of earshot. Magpie eyed them up - they'd do for now.

"I have made a discovery", he declared, "Get some ropes, some torches, some strikers, and a bell"

As they moved off Magpie spotted his first mate, unconcious but still clutching a cup of rum, and hauled her to her feet.

"Work to do"
"Right you are, Captain"

She knocked back the dregs of rum, grabbed a cutlass and followed him.

"Problem Captain"

"An unusual occurence - the cave seems to change a while along here, look"

Magpie strode ahead of his men and women, his face flickering in the torchlight.

"I stand here, and you see me", he gave a half bow, straightened and started to walk backwards. "But I stand here", he continued, still moving, "and you can't see me". He disappeared.

Crew gasped at the appropriate point - was this a trick they were too drunk to figure out? Was the Captain as far gone as that night out at sea where he'd unvelied his 'technique for flotation without device or machination' - also known as a headfirst plunge into the depths? Or was it something really, really strange - the caves they'd used for years having a strange new area.

"A rum do," commented one.

"Strange, isn't it?" remarked Magpie, returning to view. "We need to investigate".

Ropes were tied to the walls, and a woman left to guard them. The rest of the party moved off; tapping the walls, paying out rope, and occasionally striking new sparks, to check the pervading darkness hadn't receded.

Petra · Posted: 06 Feb 2004 10:19 pm Post subject: Group +1

A pair of ears listened carefully as they passed. Ears do not blink, so they heard everything --- most interestingly that the passers were intrigued to the cave.

The mind belonging to the pair of ears found this odd. Why would anyone question ‘that which is and has been for eternity’?

The mind noticed it's nose was itchy, a dusty hand gave it a rub.

The ears listened till it thought all the men were passed, and then slunk out behind them. Adding one more to such a large group couldn't hurt. Likely the leader of the group would never even notice he was there...

Captain Magpie · Posted: 07 Feb 2004 11:46 am Post subject:

On through the dark - a rope running from hand to hand, the odd shout passed back - each man or woman shouting his or her name, and the odd joke - if you're going to bash parts of your anatomy into rocks and companions it's best to have a sense of humour about it.

"Lamp still not working, then?", one asked unnecessarily.

"No, it' working fine, lost your eyes in the caves did you?", came the sarcastic response.

Truth be told, this was the morning after a couple of long nights, and more than one sailor wished they were on a safely heaving deck rather than walking in the dark, and more than one belly was rumbling for a long overdue breakfast.

A captain knows his crew - or at least he better - and Magpie shouted out - "These passages seem to have been worked byt he hand of man, y'know. Sure we'll come across some soon enough - and food'll be ours soon after, I hope. I can almost smell it. Who'll be wanting rashers?"

Petra · Posted: 08 Feb 2004 06:57 am Post subject:

Indeed, the mouth watering scent of frying bacon did permeate the air in that special way that only bacon can do. (If one poked out their tongue they would be sure to taste the air-borne molecules of fat...)

*
"Eeee-li! Eli? Is that you? What have I told you about bringing home yer drunken visitors without asking me first!" shrieked a woman over the clatter of a pan. Though no-one could see her voice induced visions of a fishwife.

"Eli! Answer me will you, none of this sneaking up on me business - that's a really old joke now ya hear!"

*

It seemed somehow the troupe had wandered into the living quarters of Elias and Matilda Blakesmoor. There was a clatter as someone knocked over a wooden chair...

There was the sound of scurrying feet from the back of Captain Magpies group, the wake of his breeze in passing did brush Magpies face.

"Get down Matilda!" hissed the voice belonging to the mind that also had ears and quick feet, "It's not Eli at all but some sort of foreigners!"

Matilda shrieked! There was the grating sound of someone snatching a cast-iron frypan from stovetop before... retreating?

(It was hard to know what Matilda or her 'good neighbour' were doing right now as they used the first and strongest form of defence in these caves - Silence.)

Captain Magpie · Posted: 09 Feb 2004 12:37 pm Post subject:

There were a variety of noises from the dozen pirates.

Some simply exclaimed surprise that the tunnels they'd known for years contained yet more strangeness. Others tempered this surprise with the expectation of long overdue breakfast. But all of them waited for the shout that would come from Magpie's lips.

"Now hold on there," he said (as best he could) to the voice that had silenced itself. "If I'm not mistaken that was a pretty heavy pan you just picked up, and much more suited to frying than fighting. And in this present circumstance I don't see half as much sense in the latter as the former"

A pause.

"Sort of foreigner's we may be, but enemies we're not. I am Captain Magpie, these are some of my crew, and we're known well in the area above here - sailors on the grand wide sea."

Magpie's mind was a little overcome with questions - who were these people living in a cave under the middle of the ocean? why had they never come out near the entrance he and his crew had been using for ten years or more? why would they choose to live underground? and why was it still so blasted dark?

"We've news of the outside world, and gold too, to exchange for your news here, and perhaps a breakfast with it, if you would. What do you say?"

Petra · Posted: 11 Feb 2004 12:09 am Post subject:

There was a heavy silence…

Then finally, “I knew it! he wants m’ bacon!” hissed the woman’s voice.
“Shhh…” advised the lips that belonged to the mind that also had ears and quick feet.

“Ahem. Outside world you say? Gold? You speak things we know nothing about… but if you are truly friendly foreigners as you say… then you must prove it sir.” He then cited a custom of the mine, “Sing for us a song!”

In a world where sight is nought gold had no meaning, but a good song has been known to bribe even the most stubborn of officials…

Captain Magpie · Posted: 12 Feb 2004 12:06 pm Post subject:

"If you've not been topside in a while, there's much you ought to know. But first, as you say, a song. Right lads and lasses, Old Stormy it is..."

A dozen voices, male and female managed a pretty consistent tune, and there was no faltering over the words; it was an old song, and a popular one.

"Stormie's gone, the good old man,
To my aye storm a-long!
Oh, Stormie's gone, that good old man;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

They dug his grave with a silver spade,
To my aye storm a-long!
The shroud of finest silk was made;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

They lowered him with a golden chain,
To my aye storm a-long!
Their eyes all dim with more than rain;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

He was a sailor bold and true,
To my aye storm a-long!
A good old skipper to his crew;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

Of captain brave, he was the best,
To my aye storm a-long!
But now he's gone and is at rest;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

He lies low in an earthen bed,
To my aye storm a-long!
Our hearts are sore our eyes are red;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

He's moored at least and furled his sail,
To my aye storm a-long!
No danger now from wreck or gale;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long.

Old Storm has heard the angel call,
To my aye storm a-long!
So sing his dirge, now one and all;
Aye, aye, aye, Mister Storm a-long. "

The Captain's voice rang out as the last note died- "And on a happier note - the last of 'Yo ho', if you please. And put your lungs into it - there might be breakfast for us all."

"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"

With a bow (in the pitch black) Magpie hushed his crew. "Old sailor's songs - songs for an open ocean and a free spirit. Worth some of that bacon? Worth a tale of life down here in the dark where lights won't go?"

Petra · Posted: 16 Feb 2004 04:46 am Post subject:

The voices of the pirates filled the caves in ecclesiastical proportions, and even when they had stopped singing the echoes returned colourful high lights to their ears.

<clap clap clap>

"Bravo!" cheered the woman.
"Hear hear!" called the fellow, over their enthusiastic applause.
“Get that man some bacon!”
“He deserves a whole pig!”
“I never heard the likes of that before! Perhaps your’e my long lost brother?”
“Don’t be a fool!”
“Shuddup woman and cook!”
“Mind yer tone with me!”
“Please.”
“That’s better…”

“Wallace Rudwidge at your service, sir, sirs, ladies…” a groping hand came thru the darkness feeling to shake the hand of Captain Magpie.

“Yer deserve many a tale after that magnificent performance! Not one song but two! What a generous soul you are! Matilda? have you a drink for these parched throats here! What sort of tale would you like to hear? Have you heard the one about the priest the blacksmith and the schoolteacher? No that will never do… unless… Matilda can you remember the punchline for that one?”

There came a *walomp*

“There yer are, lad and lassies!” it was Matilda’s voice as she set the frypan down on some table nearby, “Get it while it’s hot!”

Guest · Posted: 18 Feb 2004 02:25 pm Post subject:

Table manners were unfortunately waived for the duration of the black out meal - food snaffled from plates, occasionally bashed into neighbours but eventually guzzled with the knowledge it'd tame the two days of rum swilling inside each and every pirate.

Magpie was burning with questions - how often did they come to the surface? and where? - this cave was surrounded by hundreds of miles of ocean in every direction - how did they manage to live, and why was it so blasted dark? why didn't they leave? He summed them up at the end of the meal thus:

"So, you've got bacon - and mighty fine bacon - which means you've got pigs, or supplies. What I'm wondering is how you get either in the middle of the ocean, without so much as a mention of islands in these parts on even the best of charts? Oh, and why's it so dark here at the moment?"

Petra · Posted: 19 Feb 2004 09:07 am Post subject:

Wallace Rudwidge was having a high old time of it... till the Cap'n as he was called, asked the strangest of questions.

"Ocean? what ocean Cap'n? Can't rightly say I know what you mean... Yup they's mighty fine pigs we got though, they grow them up on the top level where the roots hang on down for grazing. Wouldn't recomend you visit there though, doesn't smell too good."

"But it's always this dark, sir. Haven't you read the bible? 'and god created dark, and he saw it was good...'" his tone was quizzical.

"That's just the way it is, how it's always been. You're not one of those heretics are you?"

Magpie · Guest

"Well, well, well - here y'are under the sea and not a clue about it all - have you never seen the surface?" mused Magpie - not uncharacteristically thinking of how this might be turned to advantage.

"But how do you survive without the light? How do you organise things? How do you not get lost? and who's in charge here?"

"And are you saying these pigs never saw the light of day? What else do you have down here in the dark - farms? inns? palaces? mines? stores?"

"Aye, and here's a thought", added Jenny (possibly the pirate to have lost most from the pitch black here - she turned many a head many a time) - "What colour are you's'all? Or don't you know?"

Magpie finished, "we're simple sailors - travellers from afar who just stayed in a cave for a night and then found there was a part with no light, and just followed on up here... followed the smell of your fine cooking I fancy... Heretics we certainly ain't"

The Janitor · Posted: 28 Feb 2004 05:27 pm Post subject:

Following the meal, as the group pondered their odd surroundings, they were interrupted by the arrival of another person.

This person spoke suddenly out of the darkness:

"Ah, there you are. I wondered where you lot had got too. I thought I had better come to warn you that there might be a rearrangement occuring shortly. If you want to be able to get back to your ship, then I suggest you follow me."

Captain Magpie · Posted: 29 Feb 2004 07:27 pm Post subject:

Old Hugh had been testing the difficulty of picking pockets in pitch dark, and both difficult and testy he was finding it. But as everyone turned he managed to grab a couple of coins from a pocket.

Magpie turned too, decided it was best to speak for them all and cleared his throat.

"And just who might you be, good Sir, arriving with such monentous news? Is our departure imminent? Is our arrangement disarrayed? Oh, and further, and definitely most importantly, what on earth are you talking about?'

The Janitor · Posted: 29 Feb 2004 10:36 pm Post subject:

A dim flickering light appeared, possibly the first light to be seen in the Mine for untold ages. This revealed the unremarkable visage of a middle aged man in grey overalls, but nothing else of the surroundings.

"Me? Well, I'm sort of a guide at the moment. People seem to be getting rather lost, and I'm trying to sort things out. I think you will find that your ship isn't where you left it. If you wish to follow me, then I should be able to lead you to a place from where you can get back to the sea. Your choice of course."

The flickering light sputtered and went out, and there was the sound of muttered curses.