Patchwork Universe

Dr Jewel · Posted: 15 Apr 2004 08:05 am Post subject:

"Cambridge does have a biological sciences department." Dr Jewel acknowledged with a smile. "Although they call it a school. What about yourself? And the zoo?"

She turned to Dr Odom.

"We're probably going to need some rope." She remarked. "Do you know of anywhere we might find some? Otherwise there will be some back at the village."

Trubshawe · Posted: 15 Apr 2004 01:13 pm Post subject:

"Oh yes, I studied under the best of the best - Frink, Crackthorpe, Briery..." said Trubshawe somewhat vaguely. "But there comes a time when an ambitious Zookeeper has to strike off on his own.

"Capital idea to get the experiments under way, in any case." He waved at Odom peremptorily. "Yes, be a good chap and fetch us some rope, Doctor. And do make sure it's long enough for our purposes, won't you?"

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

Dr. Odom's spine stiffened and his eyes narrowed frostily. This man's as bad as Kitteridge, he thought. He strolled purposefully from the cloakroom to the ticket window, where he once again spent some time with one of the speaking tubes. When he returned the frosty glare had a smug smile under it.

Dr Jewel · Posted: 15 Apr 2004 02:38 pm Post subject:

"Any success?" Dr Jewel asked with an apologetic smile.

She glanced at the door which Liason and Eddison had taken.

"Dr Eddison's not back yet." She added, slightly unnecessarily.

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

"Success? Well, that's yet to be seen." The frost was replaced with mischief when he turned in her direction. He settled into one of the pews, stretched his legs in front of him, and sipped at his drink.

Trubshawe · Posted: 15 Apr 2004 04:39 pm Post subject:

If Trubshawe had noticed the Dr Odom was up to something, he gave no sign.

Humming tunelessly to himself, he sat down and busied himself with picking bits of lint off his trouserlegs while they awaited the arrival of the rope.

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

When he heard approaching footsteps Dr. Odom rose and peered out the window to see who was coming in answer to his request. His reaction was a mix of discouragement and elation, since the young man would be perfect for the job if he could do what Dr. Odom wanted.

The sandy-haired young man stopped in the doorway of the cloakroom and sniffed loudly.

"Thank you for coming so quickly," Dr. Odom said brightly. And slowly. "Please take this gentleman to the receiving dock and tell them to lend him the biggest coil of rope he can carry. Take him by a way that does not go past the taxidermy workshops!"

Dr. Odom turned back to Trubshawe with a bright smile, the frost back in his eyes.

"This is George. He will take you to get the rope."

Trubshawe · Posted: 15 Apr 2004 06:21 pm Post subject:

"Hmph, oh very well then," replied Trubshawe, somewhat put out that this turn of events would deprive him of the company of the delectable Dr Jewel, and worse still, allow Odom to monopolise her. Still, he reasoned, at least if he was getting the rope there could be no doubt that he was in charge of the experiment.

"Right then," he bellowed cheerfully (it was important not to display the slightest discomfiture in front of his rival), "George is it? Capital! Well, chop chop George, we've an important experiment to conduct, and I wouldn't want Dr Odom to have to flog you for having kept the lady waiting."

He clapped George on the back hard enough to propel him in the direction of the exit.

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

"Okay, sir!" George cried, strutting like a drum major as he led Trubshawe through the foyer. Leading with his chest and swinging his arms grandly, he occasionally threw off his stride by trying to point.

"As you can see, sir, above us are an aeroplane and . . . another aeroplane! And Hippolyta! Hi, Hippolyta! She's real pretty and she likes me." He tried to wink. The effect was rather like an overhead door slamming down and being reopened with an automobile jack. Hippolyta, far overhear, gave an indulgent wave and then went back to her dusting. "The aeroplanes are like stuff you can see on the third floor. You know, we just had a chap in here asking about that? Taller than you, though. Oh, yes, much, much taller. Stronger, too, I imagine. Anyway, that case has . . . some stuff. A dress! Yes, a wedding dress, I think. You can see more like it in Fabric Arts on the fourth floor. Unless it's Anthropology. Yes, Anthropology, rites of passage and all that, then it'd be on six. It doesn't look too old to you, does it? 'Cause I suddenly thought, you know? I don't know how old that is! Maybe it'd start on the second floor! You see, I don't usually get to be a Guide! I guess Dr. Odom must know how good I'm doing pointing people who've lost their Guides in the right direction! Ow! Um, that's an ashtray. Do try not to trip over it, and this way, please! The other guy was taller, too, I think. Oh, here we go into the main hallway! Stuff on both sides! Keep an eye open and I'll tell you anything I know about anything you ask about as we're walking about! Like that! It's held up by a metal stand, and two fellows have to hold it very still while a third . . . two, three . . . yes, a third tightens . . ."

[OOC: George and Trubshawe continue in "'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk'"]

"Well, that should teach him."

Dr. Odom sat back. He drew the notebook from his pocket and the letter from the notebook and spread the letter on the seat beside him.

"I have prepared this."

To all employees of The Museum ~
This is to introduce Dr. Jewel Hart, archaeologist. Please accord her the respect you would a Curator visiting from another floor. I ask all Runners and Guides to obey all reasonable orders to assist her in her pursuits and request that all Curators cooperate with all reasonable requests. She is authorized to browse restricted-access collections and to request that Guides accompany her away from their accustomed exhibits if no other Guides or Runners are available for necessary portage. Turning the pages of books is very specifically not an unreasonable order.
By Authority of the Board of Directors
Curator General,
Dr. William Teiresias Odom

Dr Jewel · Posted: 16 Apr 2004 07:56 am Post subject:

"Thank you very much." Dr Jewel was touched. "That is very kind of you."

She glanced after the departing procession.

"I should have asked earlier." She said. "But what is the role of Guides and Runners? Is one to show parties around and the other to take messages? And are they assigned to different parts of the Museum?"

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

"I imagine we'll have to leave it over there. Someone else can carry it for you. I hope it makes your investigation easier."

Dr. Odom followed her gaze, a small, self-satisfied smirk showing despite his self-control.

"That about sums things up. A Runner's job is to know the Museum in a general sort of way. They're supposed to be vaguely familiar with people's habits and where they can generally be found. They also do things like deliver tea if Housekeeping is a bit busy.

"A Guide's job is more refined. A guide is supposed to know a small region of the Museum extraordinarily well. Some choose to specialize by floors, learning everything about the sixth through tenth floors, for instance, or everything about a particular exhibit and its various locations, such as Glassworking, which has exhibits on the second, fifth and seventy-ninth floors and a few less popular subcategories even higher, but which is located primarily on the twenty-eighth floor. It's not a rule, but the specialists are more likely to be appointed Curator.

"George is neither of these. He's with Housekeeping and he probably always will be. He's a good lad, though, knows the Museum as well as any employee, although if Dr. Kitteridge -- do you remember him? -- wasn't on 184 then he wouldn't know where else to look, as a Runner ought to."

Dr Jewel · Posted: 16 Apr 2004 04:20 pm Post subject:

Dr Jewel looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then back to Dr Odom.

"How big is the Museum?" She asked. "How many floors? And where do you get all your collections from?"

She smiled suddenly.

"Assuming that the last of those can be answered easily."

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

"'How big is the Museum?'" Dr. Odom chuckled and shook his head. "I'm sorry. That's a question not usually heard outside the nursery. I certainly used to take longer to get from one end to the other than it does now. Days. And in my youth I travelled to the 240,032nd floor because I wanted to visit the site of the Battle of the Three Curators. As I recall, they talk differently up there."

Dr. Odom grew distant, remembering his long-ago journey, but returned to the present in an instant.

"And we get the collections from a variety of sources. Universities give, lend or sell us exhibits they haven't the space or the funds to maintain, wealthy donors bequeath their private collections to us or lend us pieces they are content enough to know that they own. Certain misfits -- no offense intended -- aren't content with Museum life and go out into the world to become achaeologists, or to work as buyers, visiting auction houses in the name of the Board of Directors. Entomology once acquired a previously unknown specimen that came in on the bottom of a visitor's shoe!"

Dr Jewel · Posted: 16 Apr 2004 10:02 pm Post subject:

Dr Jewel frowned, then her freckled face went a slightly paler colour.

"So... are you telling me that the Museum has over 240,000 floors? Or that it is infinite?"

She paused, then started again.

"Well, that settles the question of worlds, anyway." She was talking very quickly and mostly to herself. "There's nothing like this from my world. Cambridge has museums. London has museums. But none of them are more than a handful of floors high."

She turned back to Dr Odom.

"Do you have some sort of basic information pamphlet for visitors?" She asked. "Right now I'm not sure I'm even asking the right questions."

Dr. William T. Odom · Good Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 120 Location: The Museum

"A pamphlet? No, sorry, it's never been necessary. It's always been inconceivable that anyone would not know about the Museum.

"As for the Museum being infinite . . . Let's just say there have been a few brawls in the commissary over that question. The two largest factions are those who believe it to be infinite and those who believe there is a top floor but nobody has gone that high. I believe in the infinite Museum, myself, because if a top floor had ever been built we surely would have some record of it. Besides, someone would have to work in the top floor, and those working in the floors immediately below would know about it, and eventually word would come down that someone works on the top floor. There are also a few less popular beliefs, such as that the Museum is recursive and that if you climb high enough you will find yourself at the bottom and climbing again, or that the Museum turns about at some point and you would stop climbing the stairs and begin to descend toward the first floor that is at the other end. There are even some who believe the Museum, and the outside world and all of their inhabitants, for that matter, only exist in the mind of he or she who is experiencing them. There are some lads in Housekeeping who can be a bit intolerant, though, so anyone who believes anything other than the two most orthodox theories tends to be very quiet about it."