Patchwork Universe

Yarrow · Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 8:48 am Post subject: Tea and Sticky Buns

A trolly came wheeling from the mists to the south and juddered over the rough cobblestones. If there had been anyone to watch they might have seen the old woman pushing it give it a glare and a good kicking. This had very little effect, the problem lying essentially in the smallness of the wheels.

However, by the time someone else did appear to join the old woman she was stood next to a small pony trap, of the kind used by scrap merchants.

Larkin Quickgrip · Good Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 105 Location: The Slums

Larkin shuffled up next to the woman and looked around. Looking over to her he said "How did yer do that? An what did yer mean I always knew? Do I know yer or somethin?"

Looking around he took in his surroundings and started to feel at home. Grinning he looked back and said "So this is the Rag and Bone Shop issit?"

Yarrow · Posted: Mon Apr 19, 2004 5:49 pm Post subject:

"Not quite yet, it isn't," the old woman said, looking about the narrow streets of the slum-like area and giving a sniff. "My establishment's along thisaway," she gestured with her chin.

"I 'spect we'll find that merchant feller waiting for us there," she added, beginning to amble down the street, the pony trap following placidly behind. "Tho' I've a feeling he might be a bit disappointed by my place. Last gentleman what visited said it was 'insalubrious'." She smacked her lips over the word, savouring it. "Insalubrious and... what was it? Unsanitory."

Larkin Quickgrip · Good Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 105 Location: The Slums

Larkin laughed at the thought of the Liason picking his way through the grime. "Your establishment aye?" He said. Looking up he added "So, your this Yarrow. Yer know I thought so, I saw this old lady potterin up, complanin bout bein on her feet all day, and I just thought 'shes avvin me on.'"

Grinning he said "So whats with all the leaflets an draggin me half way across the universe?" He kept pace and ambled along next to her.

Yarrow · Posted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 2:11 pm Post subject:

"Got a job for you, haven't I?" Yarrow said, with a good natured grin. "And I wanted to talk about it somewhere private like..."

They were approaching a ramshackle building ahead, with a yard piled high with disparate junk and the old woman beamed at the sight.
"My place," she announced. As pony trap came to a halt behind her she looked from side to side sharply and then reached out an arm to grab at something, yanking a small grimy boy out from the shadows of a building.

"It's you, is it, Specks?" she narrowed her eyes at the urchin. "Rub down the pony for me and give him summat to eat, alright? I'll give you a nice bright copper penny, what do you say?"
"I says I'd rather have a nasty rusted old sixpence, missus," the urchin declared instantly and the old woman snickered, before tossing him the coin he'd asked for.

"I like a boy with a bit of spirit," she confided to Larkin as she pushed opened the squeaky gate in front of the Rag and Bone shop.

Larkin Quickgrip · Good Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 105 Location: The Slums

Larkin gave the young lad a quick grin and a nod, as of one professional to another. Larkin knew what it was like to be a young street urchin, making a quick coin here and there.

He looked admiringly over the mildly dilapidated building in front of him. Nodding he said "Nice place." to the woman in front of him. Pushing his way through the gate he went over to the door and held it open saying "Ladies first." as he did, simply because he was looking to make a good impression on the person who was going to offer him a job.

Yarrow · Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 12:05 pm Post subject:

The bell jangled as Yarrow and Larkin entered the shop, alerting the shop assistants to the sound of an arrival.

Codswallop, still sunk in gloom behind the grimy counter, looked up and gave a gummy sort of smile.
"You was gone ages," she said with the hint of a whine before shifting tones and adding with exaggerated sympathy: "You must be reet parched..."

"Good to see you back safe," Stickleback added, hunching himself back towards the door, hands essaying something between a salute and a parody of a handshake that forced him to stop for breath.

"Just getting the tea on, Missus Y," Beespatch called from the kitchen, from whence the hiss of something frying could be heard. "Just another couple of mintits."

Yarrow looked from one to the other with satisfaction.
"Everything ticking over nicely then? All ticketty boo, is it?" Her roving gaze lit on the still figure of the ambassador. "What's he doing then? An impression of a hatstand?"

Indeed, the gaunt figure of the Liason could be considered, admittedly in the murky shadows of the shop, to bear a certain resemblance to that item.

liason · Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 12:14 pm Post subject:

If Liason's sleep was disturbed by the commotion around him, it was not sufficient to wake him. He was dreaming strange dreams of alternate worlds in which the Imperial Foundry existed only to serve tea and cakes to delighted customers from far off lands. He found it all quite agreeable.

Larkin Quickgrip · Good Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 105 Location: The Slums

Larkin looked around the shop with a mild look of amazement on his face. He had never seen so much junk and valuables both kept in the same place! Looking at Liason he grinned to himself.

Glancing to Yarrow for a quick confirmation he sneaked over to the sleeping diplomat and keeping his breath very shallow and movements slow, reached out and shook the man while yelling down one ear "LIASON, WAKE UP!!"

Yarrow · Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 4:24 pm Post subject:

Yarrow was taking off her old brown coat and her squashed flowerpot hat, and glancing at Liason in a speculative manner that suggested she might be considering him as a place to hand them. At Larkin's yell she paused, still half in and out of her coat sleeves, to see what the response would be.

liason · Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 4:30 pm Post subject:

Under most circumstances, Larkin's prank might have been quite amusing - at least to everyone except the Ambassador. Unfortunately, Liason was unaccustomed to pranks.

As fast as lightning he drew his sabre and in the same smooth motion placed it against Larkin's neck... or at least, where Larkin's neck would have been had he not been possessed of unusually quick reactions and nimble feet.

Fortunately for all concerned, Liason returned his sword to its scabbard once he saw who had woken him.

"My apologies Master Quickgrip," he rose and bowed, "I meant you no harm - you startled me."

Then he noticed Yarrow and bowed to her also, "Good morning to you Madam Yarrow. I hope that my presence in your shop is not unwelcome ? I have come to speak with you concerning the procurement of materials for your project."

Larkin Quickgrip · Good Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 105 Location: The Slums

Larkin had stepped back after the sword had left its scabbard, and thats where he was now. Barely a couple of paces back from Liason he hunched his shoulders sightly and while the diplomat had addressed the God standing next to him he had started grumbling, even though no-one was listening to him and the man had already apologised.

Anyone who had been listening would have heard something along the lines of "Yeah yer seem startled when yer started wavin yer sword around." and "I cudda cut yer nadgers off, see how startled yer'd be then."

Yarrow · Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2004 1:01 am Post subject:

Yarrow chucked her coat and hat on to a table, from which they slid gradually on to the floor during her next remarks.
"I can't say as you're the most welcome customer, Mr Liason. I've heard what your boss ain't very happy with you right now. Materials I've got but something makes me think it's going to be you they're for, not the job I've contracted with your employer. If you sees what I mean."

Stickleback swung his elbow sharply into Codswallop as he lurched out of the pantry carrying a tray. Sweeping the tablecloth off a small occassional table and bundling the contents aay, he cleared a space for his burden. The tray held a teapot with a chipped spout, six willow pattern cups and saucers patched up with glue, and a bun-round of iced buns divided into triangular sections.
"Tea's up," the old man declared and Yarrow beamed delightedly at Larkin.
"What did I tell you...? Tea and buns," she reminded him.
"And this is for the ambasiddor," Beespatch declared, presenting a round tray loaded with objects, piled up to form a rough pyramid. They had the rough roundness of cannon balls, apparantly composed of blackened kitchen foil welded together with a caramelised chocolate coating.

"And here was me thinking they'd have nothing ready for you, Mr Liason" Yarrow declared, casting a proud eye over her staff. "Look how they's spoiling you with their Ferarri Rozzers..."

Larkin Quickgrip · Good Joined: 21 Jan 2004 Posts: 105 Location: The Slums

(ooc sorry this isnt a real post, but who did NOT see the ferrari rozzers joke coming from a mile off)

liason · Posted: Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:22 am Post subject:

Liason picked up the topmost Rozzer with some puzzlement. He thanked the serving staff, as one should, then turned his attention to the question of exactly what one does with a Rozzer.

It seemed unlikely that the outer layer was intended for consumption - it certainly wouldn't be edible for a human - so he peeled that away. The procedure was by no means straightforward. The inside looked no more appealing, but since it appeared to be a single homogeneous mass it was presumably this he was supposed to eat.

[In actuality, Liason waited until nobody was looking and ate the foil too, which he was much more in need of than partially carbonised confectionery.]

"Madam Yarrow, I thank you for your hospitality but before I attend to matters of business and then leave you to your more welcome guests I must ask: What do you mean when you say that my 'boss is not happy' ? Has some difficulty arisen at the Foundry in my absence ?"