Patchwork Universe

Yarrow · Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:24 am Post subject: A Present from the Zoo

Small squeaky wheels are ill-suited to cobblestones but Yarrow had not been inclined to be merciful and the trolley cage containing the assistant zookeeper rattled and bounced down the streets while small children chased after it laughing and screaming with amusement.

"...And let that be a lesson to you," rang in Daltey's ears as he surveyed this new landscape with dismay.

ooc: This thread coninues from 'Money for Old Rope' in the Zoo patch

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

Daltrey's heart sank. First his ordeal in Glade, now this! Assistant Zookeeping seemed to have become much more of a hazardous profession all of a sudden. At least you could normally see Trubshawe coming.

The half-bearded man eyed the horde of shrieking children with dismay and waited to see where he was being transported to.

Yarrow · Posted: Thu Jun 24, 2004 2:10 pm Post subject:

The cage jolted down the alleys, seeming to take a perverse delight in lurging into the the path of the missiles thrown by the street urchins. Luckily for Daltrey these were nothing more dangerous than clods of earth and the occasional rotten fruit. Nonetheless it was an untidy and bedragged zookeeper who arrived in the back yard of the Rag and Bone Shop.

As he arrived an elderly woman, her face petulant and discontent, came out of the ramshackle building. Although she was wearing a bedraggled scawl it took Daltrey a moment of concern before he realised this was not the terrifying old woman who'd visited the zoo. Coming closer she approached the cage and studied a large white label fluttering from one of the corners before looking inside at Daltrey like a brrow-woman taking delivery of spoiled merchandise.
"What are you s'posed to be then?" she demanded. "Says here A Present from the Zoo. Don't know what Mrs Y is thinking. Can't see oo'd want a cringing little man half a beard and soap in 'is ears. Oi'd have fourt a stick of rock or a nice postcard would 'ave done nicely."

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

Daltrey bridled at this disrespectful attitude to his uniform.

"Madam, I'll have you know that you are speaking to an Assistant Zookeeper First Class. with the certificates to prove it. I'll therefore thank you not to take such a tone."

He had not forgotten however that he was a prisoner in an alien place, and that this strange old woman would make a better ally than an enemy. With this in mind, he leaned forward to press his face between the bars of his cage and whispered conspiratorially:

"Listen, I don't know if this is some kind of practical joke or something more sinister, but whichever, I need to get out of here. I've got friends who'll make it worth your while if you let me out of here and show me a way to get away. What do you say?"

His thoroughly pitiable countenance awaited her response nervously.

Yarrow · Posted: Tue Jun 29, 2004 4:09 pm Post subject:

Codswallop, for it was she, laughed unpleasantly.
"Worth my while?" she said. "And oo are youu to know 'ow much me wiles are worth, then?"

"Anyway, I can't be staying out here to chat with you, Mr Zookeeper. I've work to be doing. Besides, which it looks like rain."

Returning into the shop through the back door she left Daltrey on his own. She'd been right about the rain, it drizzled down slowly from a grey sky, and the cage was of absolutely no protection.

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

In a now familiar mood of despair, Daltrey huddled miserably in one corner of the cage and began to soak through.

At least the inclement weather might see off the children and their inevitable rocks and sticks. Such small mercies were about all an Assistant Zookeeper's life had going for it these days.

Yarrow · Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2004 10:40 pm Post subject:

The urchin who sidled in through the back gate a short while later seemed at first to be the last person Daltrey wanted to see, other than that mad old woman.

He was short, freckled and tow-headed, but most of these features were only vaguely discernable through the general coating of grime.
"So," he said, approaching the cage. "You must 'ave done summat to piss Mrs Y off then, aint ya?"
Some fellow feeling for a human creature in distress seemed to motivate him and searching through a pocket he produced a paper backet of striped humbugs.
"Want one?" he asked.

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

Daltrey licked his dry lips. He didn't even like humbugs, but who knew if his hellish captors were even going to remember to feed him.

"I didn't," he whispered as he reached his cupped palm through the bars of the cage. "I didn't do anything..."

Yarrow · Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 12:19 pm Post subject:

"Here you go," the urchin placed a striped humbug in Daltrey's hand and then took one himself, sucking it thoughtfully.

Glancing around the junk yard the urchin suddenly pounced on something and hauled it out from the debris. It appeared to be most of an umbrella, with spokes protuding from the tattered black canvas. Opening it up, the boy clambered up the outside of the cage and wedged it above Daltrey's head.
"There you go, mate," he said chirpily. "All home comforts." Backing off he shelted under the roof of a lean to, regarding the caged man with bright curiosity.

"You must've done somfing," he pointed out. "She's mad as a spoon, Mrs Y, but she's got reasons for what she does. And she's not usually given to locking folks up in cages."

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

Daltrey sucked on his humbug and racked his brains for what he might have done to offend Yarrow.

"Really, I can't think. She had an animal she wanted to donate, and then she decided she didn't after all. Just as well probably, it was a savage little beast, most likely it'd've had to be put down. And then she tried to claim it was a paying customer at the Zoo. Mad as a spoon, that's a good way of putting it! And that's all I remember, next thing I was in a cage and then I was here."

Yarrow · Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2004 2:41 pm Post subject:

"Well, it certainly dunt sound like much," the urchin agreed. "But you know, old ladies do have their funny ways. Take ole Beespatch in there, always asking me if I've washed. I mean, look at me, do it look to you as if I've washed?"

Finishing his humbug and popping another into his mouth he added indistinctly:
"An' ole Codswallop, the one what was 'ere before, she's always telling me not to mess wiv the merchandise out here. Like I can't see that it's all junk and she prolly dunt know what 'alf of it is."

"Stickleback's orright, though," he confided. "Gives me a chew of tobacco sometimes and these rozzer things they was throwing out."

"And Mrs Y, well, yeah mad as you like, but she's orright really. Gives me tips and that for carting stuff about."

Glancing back at the shivering figure of the zookeeper he added:
"Don't seem right locking a cove up when he ain't dun anyfink though. Tell you what, how about I 'ave a poke about in the shop and see if I can find you a blanket or summat."

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

[OOC: as it's been a few days now that you've been too busy to reply to the PM, I'm going to be cheeky and assume a padlock for the cage.]

"A blanket would be much appreciated, my fine young fellow," said Daltrey fervently, and then a sly look crossed his face.

"And I don't suppose you could fetch me a small length of wire while you're about it? Only I, er, need something to pick my teeth. Being locked up isn't any excuse for neglecting one's dental hygiene, now, is it?"

Yarrow · Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 1:25 pm Post subject:

The urchin regarded him with what might be termed an old-fashioned look.
"Yeah sure, you want to clean your teeth," he rolled his eyes. "What's in it for me then, mate? What if yer some kind of escapologist and you exiddentally drop your tooth pick and it exiddentally drops into the lock and you exiddentally wander off somewhere and Mrs Y exiddentally comes back and throws a strop cause it wos all my fault."

He fixed Daltrey with a challenging look.
"What I'n thinking is that some kind of renooomeration is in order, am I right? And what I was thinking is I'd like a job. I'm not fussy, me, I'll do most anyfing, carry stuff, sweep a crossing, hold horses, whatever. But you're a toff, right? You must 'ave something going spare for a likely lad."

[ooc: sorry for the delay. Yes, let's assume the cage has a padlock, it's more interesting that way.]

Trubshawe · Good Joined: 19 Mar 2004 Posts: 351 Location: The Zoo

A job? What with the rate at which Assistant Zookeepers were going missing recently, Daltrey couldn't see any problem with that.

"Oh yes, we certainly do have openings at the Zoo for a bright boy like you. You do like animals, don't you? If you like animals I can get you the best job in the world."

Yarrow · Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 4:28 pm Post subject:

"Animals?" the boy thought over the animals he'd seen. Cats, rats, mice, pigeons and the occasional horse or donkey seemed to cover it. Unless the stranger was including lice, in which case he had intimate acquaintance with any number of varieties.

"Oh yes, I like animals," he said, nodding with enthusiasm. "There's nothing I like better than err, feedin' em and cleaning up their doings."

Reaching out to a bizarre scupture made of a number of twisted wire-coathangers, he snapped off a segment and held it just out of Daltrey's reach.
"It's a deal then?" he asked, spitting in his other hand and holding it through the bars for the assistant zookeeper to shake.